2024 so far
Jul. 25th, 2024 02:00 pmi moved out of my apartment toward the end of April after 17 months. as much as i liked the apartment itself and didn't mind the location i absolutely hated my neighbor. his father is the landlord of the building so the thought of sticking it out and hoping he'd move out one day was never an option. the lady down the hall told me she's lived there 8 years and i'm the 7th person to move out of that apartment because of living near him.
i tried my hardest to ignore it but he and i could not be more opposite politically. i'm not one to voice my political opinions without being prompted or asked. this dude would pop up outta nowhere ready to debate about shit he brought up. i'd open my front door and he'd open his to tell me he was on facebook "owning people" and getting high. i'd be trying to enjoy time with my elderly dying dog and he'd pop up outta the bushes (literally) with no shirt on and a Newport short in his hand running his mouth about some bullshit.
during my time there i found out he has a diagnosis similar to me. i tried my best to take that into consideration while dealing with him. not every interaction was unpleasant. but he also got himself banned from my job for being racist. he worked there before i did and also got fired for saying racist shit to a customer. he sincerely believed there was a corporate conspiracy by Mobil against him. he'd send his child, that he homeschools by the way, up to the gas station to buy his Mt. Dew for him and then the kid would come home throwing a fit and claiming employees treated him unfairly when he'd show up without enough money. when things like this would happen he'd avoid me and go yell at my (female) cousin who also lives in the building. he's an asshole, a coward, a MAGA fuck and at some point in April i hit my breaking point because i got tired of hearing his stupid voice.
i got tired of the montage of all the times he ruined with my dying dog playing in my head every time i was reminded he existed. i got tired of feeling like i had put some "cherry on the top" finishing touch to my apartment and had that "this is home" feeling just to have it ruined less than 24 hrs later by some tantrum he'd be throwing until his dad would come buy his unemployed ass cigarettes. i got tired of realizing why i pay more in rent than my cousin and how we all probably pay more than needed to make up for this sponge having no job and making our lives hell when he wants something so his dad will keep him quiet and the tenants happy.
it all hit me that i was fucking stupid for living this way. why am i working a job i barely like to live in an apartment i can't enjoy? the guy upstairs was okay, our work hours kinda worked out to where i could be loud while he was gone. overall though living in an apartment building felt way too much like being in a hospital room and jail cell for my liking. being in the apartment itself was nice but having to navigate around other people was a challenge at first and my fuckin neighbor did not ever make it any easier. i went off on him a few times and instead of getting the hint he'd just crank up the annoying trying to fix it. after a few months of me living there he went out and started talking to a friend that was picking me up. i got out to the car and asked my buddy what my neighbor was talking to him about. this dipshit was telling my friend (whom he'd never met, keep in mind) that the 3 of us (i wasn't in the car or out of the apartment yet) should start a weed growing operation in the basement of the building. in the few minutes that it took me to come outside this dude brought up that and then bragged about riding his light up DUI scooter downtown "looking for bitches" and you may be asking yourself what the fuck does this have to do with anything?
i'm not happy with myself that i ended up back in the basement of the house i was so happy to escape. i'm still in a period of trying to figure out how i move toward my goals most efficiently. but i keep thinking of how my apartment was and how it felt and how if i was still there things wouldn't be any better with the currently political climate. i had reached the point where i felt like i was going to get violent toward him so i moved. as much as i still maintain it would feel great to punch a MAGA goof in their face, staying out of jail and legal trouble is ideal at this point in my life. i'm too old for this shit. too old to be back at home.
my uncle was the owner of this house the last time i lived here, that's a whole post for another day. or maybe today if i have more coffee. after he died in Sept 2022, my parents eventually ended up with it officially. i'm glad they have it and have the stability. when i was in the apartment my goal was to get a house. that's still my goal. as much as i enjoyed the delivery driver aspect of my last job, going back and forth to 3rd shift and the permanent change to 3rd was something i struggled with until i day i left. the move was pretty abrupt. i didn't plan it out very well and packed haphazardly. it's taken me awhile to get my things organized and situated given the limited space i now have.
sometimes i wish i had stuck it out at my job a little longer. they obviously have someone on 3rd shift now. once they were forced to get someone it happened. i honestly don't know if this was someone they would have gotten anyway for weekends or to get me off 3rd like i'd been asking but of course i left before finding out for sure. i originally told them i wanted off 3rd shift in March and by June was on 3rd full time. i was very vocal about not liking it. i texted my boss plenty of times so it would be there in writing that i did not like the job and it wasn't going to work. i keep telling myself these things because i still feel like i should have stuck it out longer. at least for another paycheck or 2. but what's done is done. it's an improvement over my work history for the last few years. i've got experiences and stories for days from that job.
it took awhile to move things around and get everything situated. my sleep schedule was already weird from work then i had some schedule changes and picked up some hours a few times. i've been struggling since i left the job late in June to finish up on what was left over from the move. i've just now finally gotten to where my shit isn't in a maze form and i can find and access stuff i want. i fucked up my hip and back at some point throughout moving all this shit around. it's been a slow process and i know i could do better. i'm trying my hardest not to burn myself out or allow myself to completely shut down. i'm happy with the progress i've made with my environment in July. i know that August will bring new changes for me and i'm looking forward to starting a new job and getting my little bit of debt caught back up. i'll have an opportunity to save money and get a place faster than i would have at the apartment.
i also have finally made proper space for 𝚝𝚏𝚙𝚇𝙴 to do whatever they do.
i tried my hardest to ignore it but he and i could not be more opposite politically. i'm not one to voice my political opinions without being prompted or asked. this dude would pop up outta nowhere ready to debate about shit he brought up. i'd open my front door and he'd open his to tell me he was on facebook "owning people" and getting high. i'd be trying to enjoy time with my elderly dying dog and he'd pop up outta the bushes (literally) with no shirt on and a Newport short in his hand running his mouth about some bullshit.
during my time there i found out he has a diagnosis similar to me. i tried my best to take that into consideration while dealing with him. not every interaction was unpleasant. but he also got himself banned from my job for being racist. he worked there before i did and also got fired for saying racist shit to a customer. he sincerely believed there was a corporate conspiracy by Mobil against him. he'd send his child, that he homeschools by the way, up to the gas station to buy his Mt. Dew for him and then the kid would come home throwing a fit and claiming employees treated him unfairly when he'd show up without enough money. when things like this would happen he'd avoid me and go yell at my (female) cousin who also lives in the building. he's an asshole, a coward, a MAGA fuck and at some point in April i hit my breaking point because i got tired of hearing his stupid voice.
i got tired of the montage of all the times he ruined with my dying dog playing in my head every time i was reminded he existed. i got tired of feeling like i had put some "cherry on the top" finishing touch to my apartment and had that "this is home" feeling just to have it ruined less than 24 hrs later by some tantrum he'd be throwing until his dad would come buy his unemployed ass cigarettes. i got tired of realizing why i pay more in rent than my cousin and how we all probably pay more than needed to make up for this sponge having no job and making our lives hell when he wants something so his dad will keep him quiet and the tenants happy.
it all hit me that i was fucking stupid for living this way. why am i working a job i barely like to live in an apartment i can't enjoy? the guy upstairs was okay, our work hours kinda worked out to where i could be loud while he was gone. overall though living in an apartment building felt way too much like being in a hospital room and jail cell for my liking. being in the apartment itself was nice but having to navigate around other people was a challenge at first and my fuckin neighbor did not ever make it any easier. i went off on him a few times and instead of getting the hint he'd just crank up the annoying trying to fix it. after a few months of me living there he went out and started talking to a friend that was picking me up. i got out to the car and asked my buddy what my neighbor was talking to him about. this dipshit was telling my friend (whom he'd never met, keep in mind) that the 3 of us (i wasn't in the car or out of the apartment yet) should start a weed growing operation in the basement of the building. in the few minutes that it took me to come outside this dude brought up that and then bragged about riding his light up DUI scooter downtown "looking for bitches" and you may be asking yourself what the fuck does this have to do with anything?
i'm not happy with myself that i ended up back in the basement of the house i was so happy to escape. i'm still in a period of trying to figure out how i move toward my goals most efficiently. but i keep thinking of how my apartment was and how it felt and how if i was still there things wouldn't be any better with the currently political climate. i had reached the point where i felt like i was going to get violent toward him so i moved. as much as i still maintain it would feel great to punch a MAGA goof in their face, staying out of jail and legal trouble is ideal at this point in my life. i'm too old for this shit. too old to be back at home.
my uncle was the owner of this house the last time i lived here, that's a whole post for another day. or maybe today if i have more coffee. after he died in Sept 2022, my parents eventually ended up with it officially. i'm glad they have it and have the stability. when i was in the apartment my goal was to get a house. that's still my goal. as much as i enjoyed the delivery driver aspect of my last job, going back and forth to 3rd shift and the permanent change to 3rd was something i struggled with until i day i left. the move was pretty abrupt. i didn't plan it out very well and packed haphazardly. it's taken me awhile to get my things organized and situated given the limited space i now have.
sometimes i wish i had stuck it out at my job a little longer. they obviously have someone on 3rd shift now. once they were forced to get someone it happened. i honestly don't know if this was someone they would have gotten anyway for weekends or to get me off 3rd like i'd been asking but of course i left before finding out for sure. i originally told them i wanted off 3rd shift in March and by June was on 3rd full time. i was very vocal about not liking it. i texted my boss plenty of times so it would be there in writing that i did not like the job and it wasn't going to work. i keep telling myself these things because i still feel like i should have stuck it out longer. at least for another paycheck or 2. but what's done is done. it's an improvement over my work history for the last few years. i've got experiences and stories for days from that job.
it took awhile to move things around and get everything situated. my sleep schedule was already weird from work then i had some schedule changes and picked up some hours a few times. i've been struggling since i left the job late in June to finish up on what was left over from the move. i've just now finally gotten to where my shit isn't in a maze form and i can find and access stuff i want. i fucked up my hip and back at some point throughout moving all this shit around. it's been a slow process and i know i could do better. i'm trying my hardest not to burn myself out or allow myself to completely shut down. i'm happy with the progress i've made with my environment in July. i know that August will bring new changes for me and i'm looking forward to starting a new job and getting my little bit of debt caught back up. i'll have an opportunity to save money and get a place faster than i would have at the apartment.
i also have finally made proper space for 𝚝𝚏𝚙𝚇𝙴 to do whatever they do.
